In the Wake of Your Smile
by abby-sarajane
Summary: Where do Nobodies go when they die? Spoliers for the end of the KH2 dungeons. Implied AxelRoxas, Axel and Sora interaction. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: No own. No sue. Have own problems now. Thanks.

* * *

Axel has to wonder if everything was worth it. 

Granted, it's a bit late to be wondering about that, because his hands are burnt straight down to the bone, and there's nothing in his field of vision but fire and the twisting, writhing forms of dusks as they try and fail to escape the flames. It'd be funny, and if he had breath to laugh, he would.

But whenever he inhales, it's nothing but ash and flame, and if he hadn't pulled a Final Strike, he'd be worried, because internal burns are always pure hell to get over. And burnt lungs are never, ever fun.

However, he's pretty sure he doesn't have to worry about that.

He doesn't even remember landing, though that must've hurt, because he doesn't have the energy to control his descent anymore.

Well, he's in enough pain that a few more bruises and broken ribs aren't going to make a difference. He doesn't feel much anymore as it is.

In fact, if this is dying, it's not bad. He imagined it would hurt more. Not that it doesn't hurt like a son of a bitch, but there's also a pleasant numbness that he's never had before. He's always had a sort of ache before, deep in his chest, and he likes to pretend it's where his heart once was, and it'll be back some day, and then the ache will go away.

Whoops. Time's up. Too bad he didn't answer the million-dollar question. Maybe he could have afforded a heart then.

"Axel!"

Well, shit. Can't he die in peace?

"You're... fading away..."

And shit, the kid _looks_ like Roxas, almost, if he squints just right, and that's not too hard right now, because his eyesight seems kind of funny, and it's hard to focus on things. He decides the kid needs an answer, and draws another breath into lungs screaming in protest. "That's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack." And then, because that just doesn't _sound_ right, he adds "You know what I mean?" Then something else occurs to him, in the sluggish way that his thoughts seem to be traveling today. "Not that Nobodies actually _have_ beings... right?" He tries to chuckle, and it fails miserably.

Shit, wait, there was reason he'd done this. "Anyway... I digress... Go, find Kairi."

He's such an asshole, he really is. But now he doesn't _want_ to die, not yet, he has something to _say_, dammit! "Oh, almost forgot... Sorry for what I did to her..."

Sora doesn't look happy at that. Axel's just gonna let his mind make up all sorts of horrible things that he did to his girlfriend. Ha, Sora's girlfriend. Roxas must be beside himself.

However, when he next looks at Sora, the kid's expression is almost sad, almost soft. "When we find her, you can tell her that yourself."

Axel closes his eyes for a minute. Fuck, was the kid trying to make him cry or something? His expression twists for a minute, and he has to swallow the tears, but that only hurts too, and then he turns his head away, staring back up at the swirling sky. "Think I'll pass," he said, keeping his tone light, as if he has a choice in the matter. "My heart just wouldn't be in it, you know?" The kid's not laughing, but Axel thinks he's funny anyway. "Haven't got one." He manages a little laugh at that, and his lungs hate him for it, choosing to clog even more, and making it harder for him to breathe. He watched little flecks of himself float up like ash. _How interesting._

"Axel..." Dammit, he's still talking. "What were you trying to do?"

Well, shit. Hell, he's dying, fading away, and what does it matter if everyone thinks he's some kind of soft-hearted (oops, haha, no heart, that's right, damn) pansy? So the truth will out, eventually, isn't that the saying?

"I wanted to see Roxas." Odd, how it seems to be easier to say that. He can almost see Roxas now, behind Sora's eyes, watching him. He can almost breathe easier again, despite Sora's look of surprise, and the double-take he does. What, did the kid think he didn't have it in him or something?

"He... was the only one I liked," and he's just continuing now, saying it all, saying everything he always wanted to say to Roxas, and never had the chance to. Besides, it's not like he'd ever, ever say it to Roxas' face if he wasn't dying. He's almost surprised he can say it now. "He made me feel... like I had a heart." It hurts to admit that, hurts as much as his scorched lungs and blackened hands, because he _knows_ that Roxas is listening to him, can hear what he's saying, at least he'd_ better_ be able to, because Axel's not going to be able to do an encore.

"It's kind of... funny..." He twists once more to look at Sora, and he can see Roxas, so clearly, so very, very clearly, and that ache in his chest dulls a bit, just like it used to when he saw Roxas. "You make me feel... the same..."

His vision dims, and for a moment, everything's peaceful and still. He's said what needed to be said, right? _Wait- the girl- damn._ His expression tightens, as he fights the inevitable for just another breath, another word, just a moment longer, another second of borrowed time.

"Kairi's in the castle dungeon." He's proud of the fact that his voice is strong, and doesn't waver, even though on the inside he's screaming in pain and fear. _I don't want to die! Don't leave me, Roxas, Sora, whoever the hell you are, please, don't leave me..._

He forces his demons down and raises a hand, keeping it palm down so Roxas- Sora- whoever- doesn't see the charred flesh of his palm. "Now go," he orders, as he strains for the last of his power to open a portal. His hand drops, and his eyes close. _There. That wasn't so bad._

"Axel..."

_Sorry kid, this dog's out of tricks._ Axel's eyes close, and he can't open them again.

_Do Nobodies have souls? Or do you have to have a heart for that? _

_Where do Nobodies go when they die?_

_I don't want to die. I don't want to fade away. I don't want to be forgotten..._

But it's too late for that, he should've thought about all that before he started the attack. Damn, he always has been an idiot, more likely to rush into things than to think about them.

But he wanted to see Roxas...

He hadn't. Goddamn, he was a loser.

_I saved him,_ he tells himself fiercely, as time seems to stop for a moment. _I saved him. Saved Roxas._

Axel has a moment to realize he isn't breathing. _Where do Nobodies go-_

Blackness.

* * *

A/N: Another half an hour piece. The ending is kind of abrupt, but I think it fits. What d'you think? 


End file.
